Three years later, a new girl sits cross-legged on your bed.
She tastes like a different flavor of bubblegum than you are used to.
She opens up a book that you had to read in high school, and a folded picture of us falls out of chapter three.
Now there are two unfinished stories resting in her lap.
Inevitably, she asks, and you tell her.
You say: I dated her a while back.
You don’t say: Sometimes, when I’m holding you, I imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume.
You say: She was younger than me.
You don’t say: The sixteen summers in her bones warmed the eighteen winters my skin had weathered.
You say: It’s nothing now.
You don’t say: But it was everything then.
Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you were brave for trying, and that you’ll be brave again. Because life is not easy, and sometimes you jump into the deep end, and you enjoy it; but eventually you have to swim back to the shallow end, getting to a place that isn’t where you wanted to be. Yet, perhaps you weren’t meant for that pool, maybe it was just training for something bigger, maybe you were getting ready for the ocean; the water that you were always meant to dive into.
When I was 12 boys slid their hand up my thigh and slapped my butt. I smiled and took it because I didn’t know it was okay to say stop. I didn’t know that I could say no. So, when the principal calls telling me my daughter is suspended for punching a boy who wouldn’t stop touching her, I will cook her favorite meals. When she tells me how she cursed at the boy who wouldn’t move his hands off her knee even though she asked him to, I will smile and pull out her favorite movie to watch together. I will celebrate the fact that she accepts her body as her own and knows she has the right to say no. I never want my daughter to think her body belongs to men, because it is her own and my god should she be proud. I will teach her it’s more than okay to say stop, something I wish I had known when I was that age.
if you’re mad at me please just tell me what i did wrong instead of ignoring me
on the real, Ashton may be a total asshole sometimes, but at least he’s nice enough to flat out tell me when he doesn’t want to talk to me for awhile, unlike some people [cough (backseat) cough] who just flat out ignore me with no explanation or reason.
Dude that must be nice